What started as a fun plan to make Leviah’s 3rd birthday cake together ended in steam mopping and baseboard polishing. Needless to say, this isn’t want I wanted to do today. I wanted to get something done. I wanted to include Naomi. I wanted to work together at making something special. How did it go wrong?

Naomi was disobedient. She was whining and complaining and nagging while I finished cleaning a nasty shelf and locating enough cocoa to make the cake work. I get it, she didn’t want to sit there while I cleaned a shelf with nothing to do. So, she fidgeted with the cocoa container.

Me: ‘Put it down.’
pause.
pause.
Naomi: ‘I’m so sorry’.

Immediately I know the lid came off. Quickly I realize that there is cocoa everywhere. All over the stove, the whole oven front, the floor, covering Naomi’s lap…

I don’t want this moment to go out into the e-verse and live in infamy forever, but I do want to take an opportunity to vent because writing it all down might offer some clarity–for me.

So, in utter frustration I lay into Naomi with all the bits and pieces that she broke me with and how her disobedience is like saying with her actions, ‘I am smarter than you, I know better’. blah. blah. blah. I probably don’t give her enough credit for what she’s capable of doing on her own. But, the cocoa is gone, and my interest in making cake along with it. Will I still do it? Yes. Will I still try to include Naomi? I fear not.

I love her with all my heart. Like her? At moments that’s a different story. Sometimes I wish I were her aunt so I could really enjoy her, or an unbiased teacher; then I could take a step back and see her beauty and fun and not think about how I’m going to have to help her ‘work’ on things to be all she has the potential of being. Sometimes I wish she were just visiting so I could step out of our day-to-day routine and just focus on having a good time with her–not fret about the laundry I need to get done, the insurance agent I need to call, the baby who needs a new diaper, the shelf that won’t get cleaned of by itself.

In this flurry of anger and dismay the stories of the scripture about the wrath of God towards His people, the idea that there have been moments when the survival of humanity was questionable really stand out to me. But, there’s forgiveness.

So, to be a good mother how do I forgive her as I should? How do I let her back into cake-making with me? Or, should I? Should the consequence of her disobedience be to sit this one out? Like the Israelites and that first generation who didn’t get into the Promised Land? Whether she is repentant or not, she committed the crime and needs to do the time, right? But, I WANTED to do it with her and it is hurtful that now I have to go it alone, and with the ‘incident’ in the back of my mind all the while. In writing that I think about the depth a little. She hurt me more than with the disobedience, now we BOTH have to suffer through the punishment.

Anyway, it does help me to write this down. And, I’ll probably actually post it because it’s likely that you’ve had a similar experience and you’ll have wise words to share. In advance, Thanks.

7 Comments

  • M. Bloom Posted October 27, 2011 7:05 pm

    Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes, indeed, I know those feelings. No wise words from me, except maybe, "Breathe…"

    Sending hugs and happy birthday thoughts (despite calamities!)

    xo

  • Charissa Posted October 27, 2011 8:06 pm

    Ugh! That stinks! I hate that, that happened and ruined te fun. Being a mom is so hard! My only advice would be that it could be a great opportunity to teach about mercy and grace. We are shown mercy daily by not getting the punishment we deserve because of Jesus. Just a thought.

  • Joy Posted October 27, 2011 8:32 pm

    ((hugs)) Lacey! Being a mom is the hardest job! I think you could go either way and make this a teachable moment. Just express to her why you are making the decision so she understands your feelings on the matter.

  • Mr. Taylor Posted October 28, 2011 3:51 am

    Hello Lacey, I found your blog through your little tutorial on kites. Very nice. You do so many nice things for your children including keeping their environment nice, clean, safe and fun. I aspire to be so creative. Keep up the good work.

  • Kallie Posted November 1, 2011 4:49 am

    Like Mr. Taylor said- you do so many nice things for your children. You are creative- you make the home fun…don't get blinded by cocoa. There will be days when kids disobey and parents get frustrated, but the important thing is don't let it drag on to tomorrow. We can wipe the slate clean and start over. All we can do is just keep trying. But your relationship with Naomi is far more meaningful than cleaning up a mess- even if it was a result of disobedience. Let her back into the kitchen and try again. Isn't that what the Father does with us? He lets us back into relationship with Him even after we fail and continue to disappoint. This is a lesson I learn over and again in our house:)

  • Sunny Posted November 2, 2011 5:04 am

    I feel like I situations like that are a daily occurance at our house… and I know exactly the feeling of not knowing whether to move on without the little mr. or clean it up and start over, hoping that he will be more cooperative the second time around. And sometimes wishing that the development of his character were not on my shoulders would help me to just laugh things off so much more easily. Thanks for articulating one of the great challenges (bummers) of motherhood… being punished ourselves when we choose to discipline our children.

  • pratima giri Posted November 12, 2011 11:02 am

    Ohh Dear BeautifulNature…

Add Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Diamond Wellness Advocates - AromaTouch Certified - Permaculture Design Certified
Call Us Today!
919.623.6048
drew@schoolhouseoils.com
lacey@schoolhouseoils.com