Notes from Before.
Before I’m done, that is.
I’m 31 weeks pregnant which leaves me with a few thoughts, things I knew about pregnancy from before, things I know about having children, and the other side–the things I don’t know.

the way I see ‘it’.

What I don’t know:

If I’m truly prepared
What life with 3 kids will look like.
If my ‘other’ dreams are just that.
If the 2 girls I already have will be angry.
If it’s a boy or a girl. (though, when I manage to leave the house there are usually MANY who claim ‘oh, it’s a boy’ just by looking at me–where will they be when a girl shows up and I’ve consigned all the girl clothes?)
What the baby’s name will be.
If I’m ready.
If I’ve gotten rid of too many things.
If this baby will be as difficult as Leviah or as easy as Naomi.
If homeschooling will be put on a back burner for months while we adjust.
If my seemingly short temper will grow back.

What I do know:
Who the father is 😉
We’ll love this baby
I’m no good at being pregnant
I am not one of those who gains only 15pds and loses it within 3 days of birthing or look like Angelina Jolie in this movie.
The baby will nurse–it will hurt for a bit.
Some women can’t have babies easily–I am fortunate.
Some women don’t get sick–they are fortunate.
If it’s up to me, I doubt I will do this again.
What I want for this baby is much different than what I thought I wanted for my first.
It will be born at home.
We will be ok.
Our family will be fuller and I’ll feel again the way I did when we had our first family movie night after Leviah was born–that more is better, and going back would feel empty.

“13 For You formed my inward parts;
         You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 14 … Marvelous are Your works,
         And that my soul knows very well.”
Psalms 139

I take comfort in verses like these while we wait.  

6 Comments

  • Joy Posted March 28, 2011 12:42 am

    I love those verses, Lacey! They are among my favorites. You will adjust, as will the girls and all will be well. 🙂 And if you need a shoulder, I'll be around!

  • Nicola (Which Name?) Posted March 30, 2011 4:37 am

    What a lovely lovely post. Made me smile.
    I lost our 3rd at 10 weeks pregnant, 2 months ago. That short pregnancy taught me so much. 31 weeks give you a chance to learn a lot, and you verbalized it beautifully!
    Nicola

  • Kallie Posted March 31, 2011 1:46 am

    Sweet, growing family. There are definitely a lot of unknowns… but I will transfer one for you from your unknown to your known… you will definitely take a break from homeschooling…at least for a short while..trust me:)But the girls will be learning a whole lot about taking care of a new baby and helping mama out:) Can't believe you are getting so close…and I really can't wait to find out who is in that belly of yours.

  • school house oils Posted March 31, 2011 3:12 am

    thanks kallie–you'd know!! And, perhaps that's is exactly how it should be looked at, one big Homeschool health project…

  • Sunny Posted April 8, 2011 4:44 am

    thank you for your always brave sweet words.

  • The Handmaden Posted April 8, 2011 7:02 am

    Yes, you will be OK! You have a lot to look forward to, just take one day at a time.
    I definitely recommend putting homeschooling on the back burner – the children can learn all about having a new baby in the home.
    Make sure you get some rest in the lead up to the birth (read lots of books to the children so you can sit down and put your feet up!)
    God bless.

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