A quick tip for keeping cool with your kids.
Before I had kids I was magnificent with them. I adored them, joked with them, spoiled them and encouraged their cantankerous ways. I’m not like that much with my own children…which recently struck me as a bloody shame.
Though I don’t ever see myself letting loose in quite the same fashion I did before I had the weight of child-rearing on my shoulders, I need to see my children differently. What’s the difference between interacting with other people’s children? Well, obviously, they’re not mine and I’m not responsible for their behavior, failures, successes or defeats, I’m just a person they (usually) respect and they rarely come crying to me. But, I would comfort them if they did…and those interactions with kids are what I thought parenting was all about, and I wanted them to come crying to me.
I’ve determined, and it is helping me de-rigidify, I need to see my kids, even in their worst moments, as if they’re not my own. This is a revelation when I’m irritated, angry, tired, worn out, beat down, busy, or at any given moment really. Even in the midst of good times, this thought lately occurs and softens. And, as a matter of fact, they really aren’t mine after all; they’re a gift. Sure, I’m obligated to them, but I asked for these gifts and got them. Yes, we’re caretakers, somewhat obligated to provide them shelter and nourishment, ought to have authority and so on, but I’ve got to see more often how even at their worst they are what I asked for, and beautiful at that. It’s amazing how a different mindset can add some perspective in heated moments, and the fun moments can be a little funner, too.
Now this is a serious digression from the farm goings-on, surely not because there’s a short supply of them, but as much as it’s been helping me to think this way, I thought it might be useful to other mums and dahs out there. (English slang as a result of our Larkrise to Candleford watching lately). In conclusion: your children aren’t really yours, so be funner.
p.s. yes, these are all instagram pics. come and follow…